How it began

I blame my mother. Actually, "blame" may not be the right word since my mother takes great pride and pleasure in my neurosis. I worry; she thinks, "my job is done."

When I was in college, my brother was in law school and my sister was about to graduate first in her high school class. My mother tied a ribbon around all the beds in our house. "To ward off bad thoughts from others," she said. I had always thought we were liked enough in the community, so this step seemed peculiar. Whenever life is going really well my mother is certain something bad will happen. After 31 years of study I have perfected her thought process.

I am happy. I am happily married to a great man, who just happens to be using paint thinner to clean up our recently painted and expanded closet. He is working in a tight space (the closet). What if he inhales too much paint thinner? How much paint thinner can you inhale before your lungs bleed? If his lungs were bleeding I would call an ambulance. The hospital isn't too far away. This is my thought process.

When I am worried I often turn to the Internet. I just looked up "inhaling paint thinner" and I learned from Wikipedia that you should not drive a car after inhaling paint thinner. Luckily, we are in for the night. It doesn't say anything about bleeding lungs. It looks like I made that up.