Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Oh Christ-mas Tree. Oh, Major Fire Haz-ard
Today I am taking down the Christmas tree even though my husband and I had planned to take it down on New Year's Day in an end-of-holiday-tree-purging-ceremony. The tree is completely dry and dead, with lights all over it. What if one of the lights is faulty and explodes? We'd lose our house in an instantaneous inferno of holiday cheer.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The Most Depressing Place
Can there be a more depressing place to be on this Christmas Eve than a GM dealership? Ok, maybe a plant in Deerborn or Flint. As I write this I am sitting in the dealerships service waiting area. They have blocked all news channels from the TV and the only available magazines are Sports Illustrated and InStyle. This must be the latest marketing strategy - outright denial. I do not blame them, the news channels blast non-stop updates on the impending demise of their company and the American auto industry as we know it. That can't be good for sales or customer loyalty.
This service center is a reminder of the "big worry." As a neurotic wife I fixate on small worries, like leaving the iron on and icicles falling from our house and stabbing a visitor in the eye, so I do not need to think about the bigger issue-- the economy. What if one of us loses our job?
My husband and I have embraced frugality for a while, and this Christmas will be less lavish than previous holidays. Our first Christmas in our new home, and we are happy just to have our own tree to wake up to this year. The economy has forced us back to basics at Christmas-- love, family, and cookies. I feel badly for the GM employees who are facing the "big worry" head on this holiday.
This service center is a reminder of the "big worry." As a neurotic wife I fixate on small worries, like leaving the iron on and icicles falling from our house and stabbing a visitor in the eye, so I do not need to think about the bigger issue-- the economy. What if one of us loses our job?
My husband and I have embraced frugality for a while, and this Christmas will be less lavish than previous holidays. Our first Christmas in our new home, and we are happy just to have our own tree to wake up to this year. The economy has forced us back to basics at Christmas-- love, family, and cookies. I feel badly for the GM employees who are facing the "big worry" head on this holiday.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thankfully Not "Tonight's Top Story"
We had a snowy weekend in Boston. It started Friday around 3 and didn't stop until about 4 on Sunday. It was the type of heavy, consistent snow that keeps you in your house, only escaping to shovel your car and enjoy some neighborly camaraderie 'round the snow-pile.
Unfortunately, my family lost an old friend last week and the wake was today. After speaking with my sister and my mom, we had decided we would go despite the snow. We planned to meet up at 1. But at noon it was snowing harder than ever, and my 4wd car has been missing a headlight since Friday night-- that's when we noticed anyway. I called my mom and sister and said I was going to skip the wake and attend the funeral on Monday instead. My mom, dad, sister and her husband decided to go anyway.
Then I became anxious. Had I just made one of those fateful decisions you hear about on the news? "I would have been with them, but at the last minute I decided not to go," said the grief stricken sister/daughter.
For three hours I worried they would end up in a snow embankment or an icy lake, as I distracted myself with a walk to the market, and another round of shoveling. Finally at 3:30 I called my mom and they had made the trek safely. I was told my brother had also attended the wake. I had assumed he wouldn't go since he lives farther away than I do, and so I had not worried about him. Opportunity missed!
In hindsight I should have realized our friend was a church-going woman and with a direct line to the Big Guy, she must have ensured safe travels for all to and from her wake.
Unfortunately, my family lost an old friend last week and the wake was today. After speaking with my sister and my mom, we had decided we would go despite the snow. We planned to meet up at 1. But at noon it was snowing harder than ever, and my 4wd car has been missing a headlight since Friday night-- that's when we noticed anyway. I called my mom and sister and said I was going to skip the wake and attend the funeral on Monday instead. My mom, dad, sister and her husband decided to go anyway.
Then I became anxious. Had I just made one of those fateful decisions you hear about on the news? "I would have been with them, but at the last minute I decided not to go," said the grief stricken sister/daughter.
For three hours I worried they would end up in a snow embankment or an icy lake, as I distracted myself with a walk to the market, and another round of shoveling. Finally at 3:30 I called my mom and they had made the trek safely. I was told my brother had also attended the wake. I had assumed he wouldn't go since he lives farther away than I do, and so I had not worried about him. Opportunity missed!
In hindsight I should have realized our friend was a church-going woman and with a direct line to the Big Guy, she must have ensured safe travels for all to and from her wake.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Busted Belly Button
A few days ago a friend of mine awoke to the alarm clock that is her 11 month old son. It was morning, he was awake. He needed a diaper change and out of that crib.
As my friend was changing him she was startled to see a gooey white crystal and gelatinous substance on his belly, and crusted in his belly button. Since she is a neurotic mother, she naturally assumed his belly button had exploded, exposing his intestines, or whatever is behind the belly button. She screamed for her husband and together they decided to collect the goo in Tupperware to bring it with them to the hospital.
As they were preparing to go to the hospital they called the doctor. That's when the nurse pointed out that his diaper had broken over night, exposing the gelatin and crystal mix that absorbs the urine inside the diaper.
I cant help but think I would have had the exact same reaction. Who has ever heard of a diaper ripping? And who knew there was anything but cotton in there?
I did a little research and found that this is actually quite a common concern and plenty of frantic moms have posted on Yahoo message boards about their babies having crystals in their diapers.
I'm filing this away so that one day I don't freak out when my own child poops crystal.
As my friend was changing him she was startled to see a gooey white crystal and gelatinous substance on his belly, and crusted in his belly button. Since she is a neurotic mother, she naturally assumed his belly button had exploded, exposing his intestines, or whatever is behind the belly button. She screamed for her husband and together they decided to collect the goo in Tupperware to bring it with them to the hospital.
As they were preparing to go to the hospital they called the doctor. That's when the nurse pointed out that his diaper had broken over night, exposing the gelatin and crystal mix that absorbs the urine inside the diaper.
I cant help but think I would have had the exact same reaction. Who has ever heard of a diaper ripping? And who knew there was anything but cotton in there?
I did a little research and found that this is actually quite a common concern and plenty of frantic moms have posted on Yahoo message boards about their babies having crystals in their diapers.
I'm filing this away so that one day I don't freak out when my own child poops crystal.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
My Neurotic Sister
The other day my sister asked her husband to run an errand for her, and he obliged. Soon after he left the condo, my sister heard an ambulance siren. It should be noted she lives in the city of Boston, not in the suburbs, and so sirens are a fairly common sound. Scared that he had been in an accident, and feeling upset that it would be her fault-- she had sent him on the errand - neuroses set in. She called him to make sure he was ok; he was.
This is the subtle difference between my sister's neurosis and my own. I would have thought the exact same thing about the accident, but I never would have called my husband. I'd be too worried he would think I was crazy if I called. I would have waited with a pit in my stomach until he returned home.
Actually I just thought of something clever I have done when stricken with similar worries. When my husband is out doing something for me, and I get nervous it is taking too long, I think of something else I need, so I have an excuse to call him and track his progress.
This is the subtle difference between my sister's neurosis and my own. I would have thought the exact same thing about the accident, but I never would have called my husband. I'd be too worried he would think I was crazy if I called. I would have waited with a pit in my stomach until he returned home.
Actually I just thought of something clever I have done when stricken with similar worries. When my husband is out doing something for me, and I get nervous it is taking too long, I think of something else I need, so I have an excuse to call him and track his progress.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Kitchen Sink
On Monday night the drain for the kitchen sink backed up. Here is a list of my resulting neurotic thoughts.
1. I must have dropped my wedding ring down the drain and the mangled ring is causing a clog.
2. It's not my wedding ring, it must be a mouse in the drain. That will be pretty gross.
3. It's not unclogged even after we used a hangar and a wrench. We are going to need all new pipes.
4. I call my dad; he'll know what to do. He's not answering. Why aren't my parents answering the phone at 8:30 on a Monday night? I should call my sister and see if she has talked to them. She hasnt spoken to them. Now I feel bad because she wont sleep tonight either.
5. We pour some Draino down the drain. It doesn't work. We plunge, splashing Draino in our faces. We are going to die of Draino poisoning.
6. As we tuck in for the night with a still clogged sink I wonder, does a backed up pipe emit poisonous gas?
7. The next morning I talk to my dad. He's fine. He's coming over. Shoot, will it squash my husband's masculinity if my dad can solve the drain problem?
8. Shouldn't have called my dad. He shouldn't be crawling under the sink like that. He'll break his back. It will be my fault if something happens.
9. I call a plumber. Now I will be alone in the house with the plumber. What if he's an axe murderer?
That was exhausting.
The good news is the sink is cleared. I have learned there is a long list of things you can not put in a disposal including stringy vegetables, peelings, rice and pasta. So pretty much, anything on the food pyramid can not go down a disposal.
1. I must have dropped my wedding ring down the drain and the mangled ring is causing a clog.
2. It's not my wedding ring, it must be a mouse in the drain. That will be pretty gross.
3. It's not unclogged even after we used a hangar and a wrench. We are going to need all new pipes.
4. I call my dad; he'll know what to do. He's not answering. Why aren't my parents answering the phone at 8:30 on a Monday night? I should call my sister and see if she has talked to them. She hasnt spoken to them. Now I feel bad because she wont sleep tonight either.
5. We pour some Draino down the drain. It doesn't work. We plunge, splashing Draino in our faces. We are going to die of Draino poisoning.
6. As we tuck in for the night with a still clogged sink I wonder, does a backed up pipe emit poisonous gas?
7. The next morning I talk to my dad. He's fine. He's coming over. Shoot, will it squash my husband's masculinity if my dad can solve the drain problem?
8. Shouldn't have called my dad. He shouldn't be crawling under the sink like that. He'll break his back. It will be my fault if something happens.
9. I call a plumber. Now I will be alone in the house with the plumber. What if he's an axe murderer?
That was exhausting.
The good news is the sink is cleared. I have learned there is a long list of things you can not put in a disposal including stringy vegetables, peelings, rice and pasta. So pretty much, anything on the food pyramid can not go down a disposal.
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