My sister and I are generally supportive of each other, but every now and then we fall into that familiar sibling rivalry, here, we attempt to out neurotic each other:
Me: My husband's boss' home was broken into last night-- while he was home!
Sister: That's scary. We sleep with one baseball bat on either side of our beds.
Me: Really? That's pretty neurotic, especially considering your condo is on the third floor.
Sister: Eh, I sleep better that way.
Me: What if you have a nightmare and while in your sleep you grab the bat and hit your husband in the face?
Sister: Wow, now that's pretty neurotic. You think I'm going to sleep walk and beat my husband.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Part 2: 25 Things I am Neurotic About
6. House fires and explosions - Every time we leave the house for an overnight stay I am convinced we will come home and a gas explosion will have decimated our Cape. I have seen one or two news stories in the past few years where houses mysteriously explode without warning.
7. Cops - My neighbor is a cop, in fact many of the men and women in my town are cops. Whenever I come home from work and see his car is gone for the night shift I worry. I don't think you can be a neurotic wife and marry a cop. Luckily my husband is a marketing manager.
8. And robbers - Recently there was a rash of break-ins in my sister's neighborhood. The same sister who was forgetful enough to leave the oven on over night, would obviously be forgetful enough to leave the front or back door unlocked.
9. Dryer Lint - The other day a co-worker of mine told me that her house nearly caught on fire (see number 6) because she had not cleaned the dryer's exit pipe in six months. I didn't know the dryer had an exit pipe, let alone that it needed to be cleaned.
10. Scoliosis - When my husband was in 7th grade he had to have an operation on his back and was out of school for six months. I am not sure if this can be traced back to the fact that his home town is contaminated by GE or not, nor am I sure that scoliosis is genetic, but I am pretty certain my future porpoise-like children will be born with a boomerang-shaped spine.
7. Cops - My neighbor is a cop, in fact many of the men and women in my town are cops. Whenever I come home from work and see his car is gone for the night shift I worry. I don't think you can be a neurotic wife and marry a cop. Luckily my husband is a marketing manager.
8. And robbers - Recently there was a rash of break-ins in my sister's neighborhood. The same sister who was forgetful enough to leave the oven on over night, would obviously be forgetful enough to leave the front or back door unlocked.
9. Dryer Lint - The other day a co-worker of mine told me that her house nearly caught on fire (see number 6) because she had not cleaned the dryer's exit pipe in six months. I didn't know the dryer had an exit pipe, let alone that it needed to be cleaned.
10. Scoliosis - When my husband was in 7th grade he had to have an operation on his back and was out of school for six months. I am not sure if this can be traced back to the fact that his home town is contaminated by GE or not, nor am I sure that scoliosis is genetic, but I am pretty certain my future porpoise-like children will be born with a boomerang-shaped spine.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Part One: 25 Things I am Neurotic About
In honor of the craze sweeping Facebook right now, I am listing 25 things I have worried about recently. This will be a series of five posts.
1. A mysterious, large bruise that appeared on my arm - When I was 11 I read a book about a girl who got leukemia, and one of the symptoms was that she bruised easily. Now whenever I notice a bruise and can not remember how I got it I assume the worst.
2. Ring worm - This is a rare instance that I was not worrying, and I should have been. As I have mentioned, I recently went to the doctor for a regular check-up. There I learned that what I thought was a patch of dry skin on my leg was actually ring worm. (Note: The doctor told me ring worm is not a worm, it's a fungus. That was supposed to make me feel better.
3. High levels of sodium - I had a Lean Cuisine for lunch today. Anytime I have a frozen meal I worry about sodium in-take, but today I topped it off with some soy sauce with my dinner. Now my toe feels like it's going numb. I'm convinced the two are related.
4. Blood clots - I am getting on a plane in three weeks.
5. Potholes - I can not believe that no one has invented pothole resistant asphalt. If I had not done Mad Libs all through chemistry in high school I'd be on top of that invention. Instead I sit at home and worry about my husband driving his little Civic straight into an SUV-sized pothole.Check back soon for the next five worries in this series...
1. A mysterious, large bruise that appeared on my arm - When I was 11 I read a book about a girl who got leukemia, and one of the symptoms was that she bruised easily. Now whenever I notice a bruise and can not remember how I got it I assume the worst.
2. Ring worm - This is a rare instance that I was not worrying, and I should have been. As I have mentioned, I recently went to the doctor for a regular check-up. There I learned that what I thought was a patch of dry skin on my leg was actually ring worm. (Note: The doctor told me ring worm is not a worm, it's a fungus. That was supposed to make me feel better.
3. High levels of sodium - I had a Lean Cuisine for lunch today. Anytime I have a frozen meal I worry about sodium in-take, but today I topped it off with some soy sauce with my dinner. Now my toe feels like it's going numb. I'm convinced the two are related.
4. Blood clots - I am getting on a plane in three weeks.
5. Potholes - I can not believe that no one has invented pothole resistant asphalt. If I had not done Mad Libs all through chemistry in high school I'd be on top of that invention. Instead I sit at home and worry about my husband driving his little Civic straight into an SUV-sized pothole.Check back soon for the next five worries in this series...
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