6. House fires and explosions - Every time we leave the house for an overnight stay I am convinced we will come home and a gas explosion will have decimated our Cape. I have seen one or two news stories in the past few years where houses mysteriously explode without warning.
7. Cops - My neighbor is a cop, in fact many of the men and women in my town are cops. Whenever I come home from work and see his car is gone for the night shift I worry. I don't think you can be a neurotic wife and marry a cop. Luckily my husband is a marketing manager.
8. And robbers - Recently there was a rash of break-ins in my sister's neighborhood. The same sister who was forgetful enough to leave the oven on over night, would obviously be forgetful enough to leave the front or back door unlocked.
9. Dryer Lint - The other day a co-worker of mine told me that her house nearly caught on fire (see number 6) because she had not cleaned the dryer's exit pipe in six months. I didn't know the dryer had an exit pipe, let alone that it needed to be cleaned.
10. Scoliosis - When my husband was in 7th grade he had to have an operation on his back and was out of school for six months. I am not sure if this can be traced back to the fact that his home town is contaminated by GE or not, nor am I sure that scoliosis is genetic, but I am pretty certain my future porpoise-like children will be born with a boomerang-shaped spine.
Showing posts with label unborn children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unborn children. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Busted Belly Button
A few days ago a friend of mine awoke to the alarm clock that is her 11 month old son. It was morning, he was awake. He needed a diaper change and out of that crib.
As my friend was changing him she was startled to see a gooey white crystal and gelatinous substance on his belly, and crusted in his belly button. Since she is a neurotic mother, she naturally assumed his belly button had exploded, exposing his intestines, or whatever is behind the belly button. She screamed for her husband and together they decided to collect the goo in Tupperware to bring it with them to the hospital.
As they were preparing to go to the hospital they called the doctor. That's when the nurse pointed out that his diaper had broken over night, exposing the gelatin and crystal mix that absorbs the urine inside the diaper.
I cant help but think I would have had the exact same reaction. Who has ever heard of a diaper ripping? And who knew there was anything but cotton in there?
I did a little research and found that this is actually quite a common concern and plenty of frantic moms have posted on Yahoo message boards about their babies having crystals in their diapers.
I'm filing this away so that one day I don't freak out when my own child poops crystal.
As my friend was changing him she was startled to see a gooey white crystal and gelatinous substance on his belly, and crusted in his belly button. Since she is a neurotic mother, she naturally assumed his belly button had exploded, exposing his intestines, or whatever is behind the belly button. She screamed for her husband and together they decided to collect the goo in Tupperware to bring it with them to the hospital.
As they were preparing to go to the hospital they called the doctor. That's when the nurse pointed out that his diaper had broken over night, exposing the gelatin and crystal mix that absorbs the urine inside the diaper.
I cant help but think I would have had the exact same reaction. Who has ever heard of a diaper ripping? And who knew there was anything but cotton in there?
I did a little research and found that this is actually quite a common concern and plenty of frantic moms have posted on Yahoo message boards about their babies having crystals in their diapers.
I'm filing this away so that one day I don't freak out when my own child poops crystal.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Worrying in circles
My husband and I just bought a house on a quaint, 1950's, cul de sac. One of the benefits of the house is its secluded spot in the neighborhood-- a safe spot to play for children we dont have yet.
Children in our neighborhood use our street as the park. This is, of course, adorable and wholesome. This is the kind of America you don't think exists anymore-- now that there is too much to worry about. I picture myself in apron, baking apple pie, and calling my children in from a game of tag some day.
However, today, childless and as a neurotic wife, I also see a serious downside to living on the cul de sac-- tiny children that aren't always car-height and dont always pay attention.
I am vigilant in making sure the street is clear of kids before I pull in or out. When I back out, I check behind the car first for "hide and seekers." Even though the parents are almost always in the street to corral them, I always count the number of kids, and keep constant track as I back out. Coming home, I come to a complete stop - the kind that would make a driver's ed instructor proud, before turning onto the circle.
On his way home from work, my husband often receives this call, "Drive super carefully; children are riding scooters in the street and one keeps falling off." Or, "I count six kids. Make sure you account for all of them before you pull in."
I am sure I will be less neurotic when it's my kid and I am out there watching them, but right now, living on a cul de sac seems more nerve-wracking than living on a parkway.
Children in our neighborhood use our street as the park. This is, of course, adorable and wholesome. This is the kind of America you don't think exists anymore-- now that there is too much to worry about. I picture myself in apron, baking apple pie, and calling my children in from a game of tag some day.
However, today, childless and as a neurotic wife, I also see a serious downside to living on the cul de sac-- tiny children that aren't always car-height and dont always pay attention.
I am vigilant in making sure the street is clear of kids before I pull in or out. When I back out, I check behind the car first for "hide and seekers." Even though the parents are almost always in the street to corral them, I always count the number of kids, and keep constant track as I back out. Coming home, I come to a complete stop - the kind that would make a driver's ed instructor proud, before turning onto the circle.
On his way home from work, my husband often receives this call, "Drive super carefully; children are riding scooters in the street and one keeps falling off." Or, "I count six kids. Make sure you account for all of them before you pull in."
I am sure I will be less neurotic when it's my kid and I am out there watching them, but right now, living on a cul de sac seems more nerve-wracking than living on a parkway.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Porpoise and the Cantaloupe
My husband grew up in a PCB-contaminated city. I'm no Erin Brockovich, but I think the city deserved more than the settlement it received - a small baseball field and a promise to clean the river.
But my issue isnt with the paltry settlement. My issue is that for years my husband rolled around in PCB-laden dirt, probably ingested some of it, and definitely got it under his fingernails. He seems fine - no obvious effects. My real concern is for our unborn children, who knows what disfigurement awaits them! PCBs are probably coating my husband's genes.
What does this have to do with a porpoise and a cantaloupe? Often my neuroses manifest themselves in dreams. In this particular re-occurring dream, I am pregnant. My belly falls off and opens up to look just like a halved cantaloupe. After the doctor scrapes the cantaloupe guts away he presents me with my baby-- which looks just like a disfigured porpoise.
In actuality, this is another case of me worrying, without researching. If you click on the link to PCB information above or below you will see that most harm is caused by the mother being exposed to PCB's - by eating contaminated fish, or working in a factory.
Most likely our unborn kids are fine - that is, if we can have them. I just learned today that high-levels of PCB's can sometimes contribute to infertility.
But my issue isnt with the paltry settlement. My issue is that for years my husband rolled around in PCB-laden dirt, probably ingested some of it, and definitely got it under his fingernails. He seems fine - no obvious effects. My real concern is for our unborn children, who knows what disfigurement awaits them! PCBs are probably coating my husband's genes.
What does this have to do with a porpoise and a cantaloupe? Often my neuroses manifest themselves in dreams. In this particular re-occurring dream, I am pregnant. My belly falls off and opens up to look just like a halved cantaloupe. After the doctor scrapes the cantaloupe guts away he presents me with my baby-- which looks just like a disfigured porpoise.
In actuality, this is another case of me worrying, without researching. If you click on the link to PCB information above or below you will see that most harm is caused by the mother being exposed to PCB's - by eating contaminated fish, or working in a factory.
Most likely our unborn kids are fine - that is, if we can have them. I just learned today that high-levels of PCB's can sometimes contribute to infertility.
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